Children with a chronic (long-term) illness may need more attention and understanding than other kids. But they still need to know what behaviors are acceptable. Setting limits is the process of establishing rules for what is acceptable and what is not acceptable behavior. It involves communicating what these rules are and making sure everyone follows them. 

Parents may worry that setting limits will upset their child or cause them stress. But when done in a kind way, setting limits lets your child know what is expected and helps them feel safe. It shows them that they are loved and cared for. Here's how to set limits for your child.

Keep to a routine. Try to stick to the same daily and weekly schedules, including meals, sleep, chores, and playtime. Routines help kids know what to expect. Also, make sure to enjoy time with your child. Sing, dance, and play together.

Praise the behavior you like to see. Praise your child's positive behavior and actions that you want them to continue to do. For example, you could say, "I like the way you shared your toys. That was very kind." This keeps your child involved in acceptable activities and lets them have your positive attention.

Set a good example of how to act. Your child will learn a lot about behavior by watching what you do and how you interact with others. For example, a child who sees you put your things away is more likely to pick up their toys.

Help your child behave well. Try not to plan activities at times when your child might be tired or hungry. Don't overschedule your child. Give choices when you can. For example, "Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?" If you notice your child getting upset, try to move on to another activity. For example, if your child gets frustrated with a toy, show them a different toy to play with or suggest doing something else, such as going for a walk.

Be clear about rules. Explain rules in simple terms and be clear about what will happen if your child breaks a rule. Use the same rules for all of your children. Be clear about media use, what chores need to be done, and cleaning up. If your child is a teenager, set clear rules about use of the car, dating, and curfews. 

Respond when rules are broken. Do not spank, hit, or slap your child. Use consequences that are appropriate for each age group.

• For toddlers:
  • If your toddler misbehaves, calmly say "No." Then remove your child from the area or distract them with another activity.
  • If your toddler doesn't help with cleaning up, put their toys away for the rest of the day. 
  • A time-out can help if your child continues the unwanted behavior or is hitting or biting. To do a time-out: 
    • Say in just a few words why the behavior is not OK.
    • Bring your child to a "time-out place," such as a child-safe kitchen chair.
    • Have your child sit there until they are calm and quiet. This may take only 20 seconds or so, but it should not last longer than a few minutes. 
    • When the time-out is over, welcome your child back without being angry.
• For kids in preschool and elementary school:
  • Time-outs can work in this age group too. Start to talk to your child about things they can do to help themselves calm down, such as deep breathing or counting to 10.
  • Be sure your child knows the rules and what will happen if the rules are broken. For example, if they color on the wall, they will need to know that they will have to clean it up and that the crayons will be put away for the day.
• For middle school kids: 
  • Use consequences that are appropriate for the rule that is broken. For example: 
    • If they don't put their bike away, they don't get to ride it the next day.
    • If they are watching videos on their phone when they are supposed to be doing homework, the phone gets put away until the next day.
• For teens: 
  • Talk about why the rule is important and, if broken, remove a privilege (such as use of the car or their cell phone).

• Your child has trouble following family rules.
• You are having trouble coping with your child's behavior or worry you might hit or hurt your child.

Why do experts say to avoid spanking? Here are some reasons why experts discourage this practice: 

• Spanking teaches kids that it's OK to hit when they're angry.
• Spanking can physically harm children.
• Rather than teaching kids how to change their behavior, spanking makes them fearful of their parents and teaches them to avoid getting caught.
• For kids seeking attention by acting out, spanking may "reward" them — negative attention is better than no attention at all. 

Instead, experts say it is better to remove children from the situation that is causing the misbehavior. Also, always be clear about family rules and use appropriate consequences when those rules are broken.